the knighted sailor

you,
the truer sailor,
bow your head unto the tide.
on your shoulder i rest a feather
a symbol for your pride.
a nobler man than many
the long lost knight of the sea.
lets burn your bridges down together.
come sail your ship round me.

seasonal suicide

with a turned back to the reason, 
you try to filter the pain,

your Closed eyes in the sunshine, 
wont make it fade away

we all know Cats can keep secrets, 
from the mothers of their prey

when you Punish the season, 
you only injure the grain.

Moments aren’t forever, 
hold onto the ones you want to save.

Only silence hears its echo, 
in the hollow of our graves.

my ego and i

closing the garden gate, i face the crossroads. 

unsure which way to turn, i do a slow pirouette and hold the world at my finger tips. 

your playing a game of russian roulette with my future. 

i wonder where is the bullet that you hide. 

coaxing me forwards, i know you will sacrifice me for the tide. 

in my dream im following the seasons, your whisperings are my guide. 

i place a ruby on your tongue to break the curse of eden.

 we fall beyond a sandy shore. the night time is my freedom,

its the only time i breath and can open up my eyes.

 but still you hold me blindfolded on the floor, 

suffocating under the pressure of your pride. 

dancing around wolves with feathers in our hair. we wear trust as a disguise.

so afraid of the future, more afraid of the past

im lost in the present. unsure which way to turn, i do a slow pirouette

trying to grasp the answers slipping past my finger tips.   

my ego and i, slow dancing to time. 

harsh reality

Life is too short, to be anything other than honest. with ourselves.

so why do i keep distorting the view. watching the world through a bent mirror.
i am motivated by an delusions, i believe to be my future. with you. my creation.
willing you to be my master.

a hallucination. a mirage

i am stuck in the illusion that my dreams will become my reality.
i let them consume me. control me. they devour and beat me.

what i would do to give you my dreams.
please take them.

in my dreams i find love
in the flowers and in the shells.

my reality is a desert. they are no flowers. they were no shells.
i am just a grain of sand, being thrown between the dunes.

slowly eroding.

the moons suicide

cursed by a broken feather

the moon hangs silent in the sky

gentle swaying above from side to side

his white flags falling towards the tide.

winter

Bitter cold, i bite my tongue.

 your punishment is my silence. 

i will not drop my head any longer. 

you can not and will not hold me under.

 who has really lost i wonder? 

what has come from all your thunder?

i see you, unveiled by your fury. 

standing naked like a child before me.

 stamping your feet, dig your heels into the ground. 

you watch the world through your own reflection 

a victim of your own distortions.

the pain of knowing

i wonder.....

           if you were to be deaf. would you rather be born deaf. living a life content with the silence. or would it be better to loose your hearing, so in your silence you can dwell in the memories of sound.

          if you were to be blind would you rather be born blind. living a life content with the darkness. or would you prefer to loose your sight, so in your darkness you can watch the slide show from your past.

          if you were to be dumb, would you rather be born dumb, unaware of your simplicity. or would you rather loose your mind with age, so in your simplicity you can smile with satisfaction.  

          if you were to loose something, wouldn't you rather you never had it in the first place? be unaware of what you have lost. because wont the memories just be tainted by the fact that it was lost. and the tainted memories will grow into resent. with resentment all beauty is lost. with resentment all truth is lost. 

   

if we do not have beauty and truth, is it really worth it? 

 

Comardes

• silently seated
• side by side
• perfectly content
• mountain and sky 
• 
  
• a friendship unparalleled.

tip toe down the valley, sit on upon the edge, watch the morning stretch and yawn, and the sun roll out of bed. 

Day versus Night

• We are soliders. 
• You and I.
• Men of war. 
• We fight again.
• together in harmony.
• we defend life.
• forever in battle.
• we find peace.
• the enternal dance
• Moon and Sun

sense & sensibility - resting seeds

hold your ear to the ground, and you will hear the sound of a thousand seedlings softly breathing and dreaming in a collective sleep

sense & sensibility - the sea and the sand

hold a shell to your ear, and you will hear the sound of a thousand grains of sand dancing a slow foxtrot to the rhythm of the tide.......

sense & sensibility - the wind

youth and wisdom sat together, 

on the top of a hill, 

"tell me youth, what do you feel when you catch the wind in your hand?" asked wisdom

the youth leant forward, and clasps his hands around the wind

 "Nothing! I feel nothing"

"and tell me youth, what can you hear when you hold the wind in your hand"

and the youth leant forward held the wind up to his ear

 "Nothing! i hear nothing"

"and tell me youth, what do you see when you hold the wind in your hand"

and the youth leant forward and peered at the wind in his hands

 "Nothing! i see nothing"

"yes my son, nothing. without freedom, the wind no longer exists. 

sense & sensibility

flowers don't last

Better to invest in trees.

singing songs of sixpence

a pocket full of rye

everything will be ok

with a raven by your side

"Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That's part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads - at least that's where I imagine it - there's a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you'll live forever in your own private library." 

Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Murakami

to sleep, perchance to dream

so tired, 

i crave the depth of a dreamless sleep. 

but i resist.

too tormented by the truths it keeps and terrified by the version of me ill meet there.  

the self confrontation i don't need to repeat. 

 i pray for insomnia.

i used to seek asylum in my dreams, but they exposed me to my elements, and now i am weathering from the inside. 

a refugee from my own mind. 

i pray for a coma.

so tired, 

i crave the comfort of a seamless sleep.

 but i resist. 

too exhausted to hide the proofs it keeps  and scared of the sanity i might meet there
the version of reality i dont need to repeat.

love one another, but make no bond of love:

let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

kahlil Gibran The Prophet

The age of Lovers, the Lovers of age.

ah Love!

oh how i love love!

i open my eyes, to see love!

i breath, to taste love!

i listen, to hear love!

i search for you, to be fufilled!

ha love.

oh how i loath you.

i saw you, and now i am blind.

i tasted you, and now i am bitter.

i heard to you, and now i am deaf .

i found you, and took you in. now i am empty.

and yet...

i still wait for you in my rocking chair.

tinker tailor solider salior

The Drawing Board: sketches

sitting on a boulder, on the edge of the world

slowly growing older, waiting for a pearl.

a robin on her shoulder, said "open you eyes little girl

your only getting colder. sitting on this pearl."

 the world is an oyster, we, just the grains of sands.

 together we all coincide, to make destiny with our hands.

 the ocean is our bed, where together we all lie.

heavens in our head,  to provide comfort when we die.

The Madman

The "I" in me, my friend, dwells in the house of silence,

and therein it shall remain for ever more,

unperceived,

unapproachable.

my mind doth not dwell upon the wind but upon the sea,

 Thou canst not understand my seafaring thoughts,

nor would I have thee understand.

 I would be at sea alone.

When it is day with thee, my friend, it is night with me;

 thou canst not hear the songs of my darkness

nor see my wings beating against the stars

and I would not have thee hear or see.

I would be with night alone.

for I would not have thee see my Hell.

And I love my Hell too well to have thee visit it.

 I would be in Hell alone.

.

My friend, thou art good

and cautious

and wise

and I, too, speak with thee wisely and cautiously.

And yet I am mad.

 But I mask my madness.

 I would be mad alone.

My friend, how shall I make thee understand?

 My path is not thy path, yet together we walk, hand in hand.

an adaption Kahil Gibran. The Madman

Shells of the Sea

Empty. 

On the shore.

Time.

Nothing more. 

The decider.

Reminder.

How fragile. 
You and me.
Shells. 
From the sea.

curse me with my demons.
 they have already returned with open arms.

hide me from your feelings,
 they have already burned me on my scars.

falling back in my past, my shadow has consumed me,
 we dip our toes into the realms on no return.

sea travellers

"I'm scared, scared that they are just slipping away"

-  he took her chin, and raised her head to the clouds. for a moment they watched the world spin. 

"we live our lives floating down a stream, every body's got the same destination, everybodys going the same direction.  towards the sea. sometimes the stream is gentle, and time is pleasant, sometimes the current is strong its hold us under, the torrent twist and turns, pulls and churns at our hearts. we find  companions along the way, and we float together, alongside each other. but there will be a time where one of you is caught in a different tide, and as you might float in peace, they are dragged away by things beyong your control. beyong their control. if you try to hold onto them to tight, you will tear them in two. because alas, you can not fight the tides of time. but do not fear, for you will find each other again, among the seashells. "

- defeated

Pandora's plea

forever in a day, my heart is slowly fading away.

 a victim to time i cant hold my tears any longer.

 slice my cheeks and burn a hole through my soul. 
i surrender

scorned by my own follies. 

victim of my own misdirection. 

let me drown in a calm sea, floating among red poppies. 

let me sink. 

gently close my eyes, put a flower in their place.

 a reminder of what they lost in their blindness. 

deafened by the screech of your silence, 

and tormented by the absence of your violence. 

hand me a blade, 

the one to you i gave, in my misguidance.

 and i will place it along side me, 

my open grave, a tribute in honor of the memories i have slayed. 

the friendship i have betrayed, the trust i have mislaid. 
watch it decay

tie a bolder to my strength and drop it in the ocean. 

wait till i am colder. older. forgotten over and over. 

then let the tide regurgitate, return me. 
place your pain in the cart and i will carry it on my shoulders.

Pull me into your dreams, but only as a bystander. 

replace me 

but don't misplace me

don't forget you misguided me
with the feelings that you hide from me
the key you handed me
opened the door to my felony.
i believed you
and sinned unintentionally.

for the flowers that blow in the breeze, from the seashells that fell out the seas.

"we wanderers, ever seeking the lonelier way,  begin no day where we have ended another day;  and  no sunrise finds us where sunset left us.

even while the earth sleeps we are travellers.

brief were my days among you and briefer still are the words i have spoken.

but should my voice fade in your ears, and my love vanish in your memory, know, i shall return with the tide. 

Although my simplicity may hide me,
and the greater silence enfold me,
when time permits will i seek your understanding. not in vain i shall seek, but so my truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in words more kin to your thoughts.

and if this day is not a fulfilment of your needs then let it be a promise till another day. 

mans needs change, but not their love. know, therefore, that from the greater silence i will return. "

an adpation from Kahil Gibran, The prophet.

The Puzzelled Dragonfly

in a muddle 

in a puddle 

in a world made of dismay

on a rock in the middle a dragon fly prayed

he was battered 

he was tattered 

he was in a terrible way

from the things in his heart he tried not to say

all the confusions

all the delusions

all the the emotions he couldn't convey

in his muddle of a puddle in his world of today.

punishment's punishments I

punishment's punishments

 

Rain, falling on my sleeves, please, fade it to a softer shade of green,

rain , dancing with the leaves, please,wash away my memories.


pain, dont forget my name ,please, someday soon we will meet again


pain, walking from the shame, please, i think its time to end this game.

sing a song of sixpence - Noah's ark

"Noah's ark"

you wanted to be a lone wolf

roaming the seabed.

and i wanted you to be free

with only me in your head.

you sang me sad songs 

of a girl who left you by the shore.

with a seashell on your heart

i listened to the lion roar.

I'm living alone on Noah's ark,

pairs are walking past

everybody roaming and I'm stuck

looking past the view, waiting for my number two.

you see I'm an owl with tired eyes

wont you lay me down in tide.

I'm a rabbit with out a home

wont you take me back, take me back to alone.

i heard a sparrow call your name, 

he said you've still got your debt to pay,

the name the sparrow called you was a name i cannot say

i will pray another day,

we will be OK.

were living alone on Noah's ark

and pairs are walking past

everybody roaming and I'm stuck

looking past the view, waiting for my number two

waiting for you.

i saw white doves falling in the rain

i heard thunder calling out my name

your held me with a glance

i will stay for one more dance, 

if only you would ask

i don't want to be alone on Noah's ark

where pairs are walking past

everybody roaming, and I'm tired

 of looking past the view

wishing i was there with you

knowing we are true.

the drawing Board: Work in progress - Gypsy

"Gypsy"

haunted by the words of her gypsy song